Bittersweet Beginnings
by so original
Summary: Kate tells Sawyer she’s pregnant. How does he react? What do they do? And what happens after that? All will be revealed through Desmond’s eyes, as his psychic visions show him the future of this couple. Skate. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

Title: Bittersweet Beginnings  
Rating: PG  
Summary: Kate tells Sawyer she's pregnant. How does he react? What do they do? And what happens after that? All will be revealed through Desmond's eyes, as his psychic visions show him the future of this couple.  
Warnings: There will be a little violence, nothing too major. Picks up towards the end of the third season.  
Status of Fic: WIP  
Author's notes: It might get a little weird, but I promise it will all make sense in the end. Just trust me. Some elements may be a little different to the show, but I don't think it's anything too dramatic.  
Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable.

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_Chapter 1._

The sun rose over the island, much in the same way it had every day since they'd arrived. It never changed. Those who watched this occurrence day in, day out, were coming to believe that nothing ever would.

Kate and Sawyer woke up together in their tent, as they had every other morning of late. It was easy to settle into a routine in a place like this. Sawyer usually hated routines, but he was beginning to like this one. It was nice to be reminded, from the second he opened his eyes, that he was no longer alone in the world. He smiled at the thought.

This feeling of happiness didn't linger long that morning, though. Sawyer was worried about Kate. She'd been a little off lately. She'd been avoiding him too, he thought. She'd been unusually quiet and remote the previous evening, and when she spoke she seemed distracted. It wasn't like her.

That morning, she was slow to get up. It looked like she could lie there forever, and just block out the world. That definitely wasn't like Kate. She didn't look well. Leaning down to wrap his arms around her again, Sawyer asked if she was okay.

His concern seemed to surprise her. She leaned into him, relaxing a little. "I'm fine", she murmured softly, closing her eyes again. Sawyer wasn't convinced.

"I don't think you are, Freckles." She was falling asleep again. Sawyer nudged her slightly, wanting to keep her awake. He didn't know what was wrong with her, and he wanted her to tell him. Her needed her to reassure him, to tell him what was wrong, just so he knew it wasn't serious. Then he'd let her sleep as long as she needed.

She opened her eyes again, and stared at him a moment. It looked like she was considering what to tell him. Sawyer was even more worried now. What was so bad that she couldn't just say it?

She pulled away from him slightly, sitting up. This act seemed to drain her of all energy. She looked exhausted. Sawyer stared at her, apprehension eating at him.

She sighed deeply, then spoke. "I'm pregnant."

Silence overtook the tent, its occupants frozen in time, stunned by the enormity of those words.

Kate waited for Sawyer to say something, anything. She needed a reaction. She needed to know what he thought. Now that she'd told him, she couldn't stand not knowing what he was thinking. She was usually so good at reading him. Not this morning.

"Please say something." So much meaning behind those three words. It wasn't enough though. Sawyer still didn't respond.

Kate couldn't stand the tension. She thought he should have said something by now. Whatever he was thinking, it had to be something bad. Otherwise he would say something. She stood up abruptly, and with tears in her eyes, stormed out of the tent.

Sawyer called after her, finally coming out of his trance. But it was too late. Kate ignored him. He was left alone, mentally kicking himself for what had just occurred. That could have gone better.

Sawyer couldn't stop thinking about everything Juliet had said. It was what had stopped him from saying anything to Kate. He knew that, typically, when he heard this kind of news, he should feel extremely happy. Terrified, definitely. He should be wondering how the hell he was going to be a father, and imagine everything that could possibly happen to the baby. He should have been wrapping Kate in cotton wool, kissing her stomach and vowing to never let her out of his sight again. But more than anything, he should have a had an intense feeling of all-encompassing joy and wonder that he and the woman he loved more than he'd ever thought possible, had created a new life.

All he could think was that Kate was going to die. There would be no baby. He would be alone again.

He'd never been more scared in his life. He couldn't lose Kate. Even if Juliet was wrong, even if she did survive the pregnancy, there were no guarantees that she'd survive childbirth. There were no medical facilities, no equipment. If it got that far, no one would be able to tell what was happening. So many things could go wrong. If that happened, how could he raise a child alone? He couldn't. It wasn't even a possibility. Even with help, he'd probably screw it up. He'd never done anything right.

He was completely consumed with worry. He still couldn't move.

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After Kate had stormed out of the tent, she walked along the beach for a while. She needed to clear her head. She was worried about Sawyer's complete lack of a reaction to what she'd told him. In a way, she understood it. She was shocked herself. But she'd dealt with it better when she found out. Sure, she'd burst into tears, but at least that was something.

What scared Kate the most was the thought that Sawyer didn't want a kid. She wasn't sure how she felt about it herself, but the idea that Sawyer definitely hated the idea… she couldn't cope with it. She was scared to admit it, but she needed help, and she needed it from him. She couldn't stand the idea of doing this alone.

Suddenly, Kate remembered what Juliet had said, and realised she'd basically just been handed a death sentence. She'd forgotten till now.

Kate worried about what that would do to Sawyer. In that moment, she realised how much she loved him. She was thinking about her impending death, and all she could focus on was how it would affect him. She'd never imagined she'd ever feel that way about someone.

As she wandered down the beach, she passed Claire. She was holding a screaming Aaron, and it looked like she was struggling. Really struggling. She looked like she needed help. Kate wondered how she'd managed for so long. What chance did Kate have, on an island, on her own? She was terrified.

She walked, almost ran away from Claire and the baby. She couldn't be around Aaron, it was too confronting. She had to get away. As she fled, she ran into Hurley. The force of the collision almost knocked her to the ground. Hurley helped her steady herself, asking in his usual cheerful way if she was okay. Kate didn't take the time to answer. She had to get away from the baby's cries. She kept running.

Kate found herself in the garden she'd helped Sun plant soon after they'd crashed. Sun was there, weeding. She looked so calm. She was in the same predicament as Kate, she remembered. Yet she was so calm. How was that possible? What was her secret, Kate wondered?

She knelt down to help her friend. Maybe the secret lay in this place. Maybe if Kate did what Sun did, she'd feel the way she did.

They worked in silence together for a while. Sun didn't question why Kate was there. Or why she kept staring at her. Kate tried to hide it, but she couldn't tear her eyes away.

"How are you doing?" Kate asked. She couldn't ask what she really wanted. It was too confronting, too personal. But Sun understood the implied question anyway.

"I'm fine. Worried. But things will be alright."

Kate didn't understand how she could be so okay. "But, Juliet said…"

"I know what she said." Sun cut off Kate's new question. "But what can we do about it? If what she says is true, there's nothing anyone can do. All I can do now is trust that things will be all right in the end. That's all anyone can ever do."

Sun went back to her gardening. Kate followed her lead, but she couldn't stop thinking about what Sun had said. She was glad Sun had such faith. But she couldn't find any for herself. Nothing had ever turned out right for her before, why should this be any different?

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Sawyer was stalking around the jungle, doing nothing in particular. He was brooding. He wished he'd said something to Kate. What was she thinking right now, he wondered? She probably hated him. He ruined everything.

Suddenly, Hurley appeared, blocking Sawyer's path. He was about the last person Sawyer wanted to see just then. If Hurley noticed, he didn't pay any attention to it.

"Hey, dude. What's up with Kate?"

Great. Hurley knew. If he was able to figure it out, it wouldn't be long before everyone else did. It was the last thing either of them needed.

"What are you talking about, Hoss?"

"Well, she like, ran into me dude. She looked pretty upset. Something's up with her. I thought maybe you'd know something." This caught Sawyer's attention. Maybe there was something actually wrong with her now. He was worried now.

Leaving Hurley alone in the jungle, calling after him, Sawyer started to head back towards the beach. He was going to find Kate, and he was going to talk to her. Like he should have done in the first place.

He eventually found her later that night, as the sun was setting. She was on the beach, staring out at sea. He realised she must be pretty upset. She only did this when something was wrong. This time, he knew it was because of him.

He sat down beside her and started to talk. Sawyer couldn't stop talking. He told her everything he'd thought in the last few hours, everything he wished he'd said the moment he found out about the baby. He assumed she was freaking out about the prospect of dying. He thought she didn't want the baby.

Kate still didn't talk. Sawyer couldn't handle the thought of more silence. He had to get her talking. Maybe he could figure out a solution to this.

"Maybe we don't have to go through with this." He glanced at her, trying to gauge her reaction. He didn't want to push the issue if she clearly hated the idea. But she wasn't giving him anything.

"Juliet might be able to help. She's probably got experience in this kind of thing. We could talk to her tomorrow." He wasn't sure he liked the idea, even as he suggested it, but if it guaranteed her survival…

Kate looked at him. Her expression was still blank. "Maybe you're right." Her voice was empty; there was no emotion in it. "It's probably for the best."

Sawyer nodded. "Okay".

"Okay." She echoed with that same, empty expression.

Sawyer wasn't as relieved as he thought he'd be. Kate leaned against him. He put his arm around her, comforting her. They stayed that way till long after everyone else had disappeared for the night.

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	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks to everyone who took the time to review, I love getting your comments. I'm glad people like it!_

_And now for something a little different..._

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_Chapter 2._

Desmond sat watching the scene in front of him. He wasn't eavesdropping, exactly. But when he'd passed their tent that morning, he'd heard Kate say she was pregnant. Judging by their behaviour since then, this wasn't the best of news.

As he was pondering this, things around him started to shift. Time slowed down, then sped up again very suddenly. The smell of the ocean disappeared for a second, and when it came back it was slightly altered. There was a loud rushing sound, followed by a faint popping. Then silence. His vision blurred, and when it cleared he found himself staring at a blank, empty beach. He quickly figured out that this was sometime in the future, but he had no idea when.

He was behind a tree, and he decided to stay there for a bit. For some reason, he felt like he shouldn't be seen. He couldn't explain it, but he had the sense that whatever he was about to witness was private.

Glancing up the beach, he saw that he was not far from where the camp was set up. The blue tents were still pretty much how he remembered, though some appeared to have moved. There were also a few more wooden structures. Whatever time he was in, the people were building more permanent establishments. He was a little sad to think that more people had given up on rescue, and were preparing to live out their lives on this island.

He was broken out of his reverie by the sight a little girl running out of one of the tents. She went flying down the beach, her curly brown hair streaming out behind her. She looked to be about four years old.

She ran down the beach a bit, laughing in the way only children could. Picking a random spot, she sat down and immediately began building a sandcastle. Desmond was mesmerized by the sight of her. Here, on this island, was a little bit of hope. It was just what he needed.

"Hey, pipsqueak, thought I told you to wait?" Desmond dragged his eyes away from the girl at the sound of Sawyer's voice. He obviously hadn't changed much. Desmond wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. He was a little sick of all the nicknames.

The girl was too, apparently. "My name is Laura." She said, rolling her eyes. She looked comical in her disapproval. As Sawyer got closer, Laura stood up and put her hands on her hips. Desmond watched, laughing, as Sawyer suddenly rushed at her, scooping her up and flipping her upside down, covering her with kisses. The little girl squealed with obvious delight. Desmond wondered what Sawyer would think if he knew someone was watching this cute little act.

"Daddy, put me down!" The discovery that Sawyer was this girl's dad shocked Desmond. He wasn't sure why, though. He should have been expecting it. He knew Kate was pregnant in his time, after all. Her daughter was the spitting image of her.

He wondered where Kate was during all this. Looking around, he couldn't see her anywhere. That surge of hope he'd had evaporated. She must not have survived.

He wondered how everyone was coping. Kate had been a close friend to many people, he knew that. He couldn't imagine that many would have recovered from her death quickly. It would have sent shockwaves through the camp.

Then there was Sawyer. Kate was really the only person he was close to. Now she was gone, and he was left to raise a child on his own. Desmond couldn't imagine how difficult that must be. He seemed to be holding it together fairly well, Desmond thought. He had no idea how he was managing it.

Desmond's sadness and pity disappeared at the sight of a very much alive Kate emerging from the same tent that Sawyer and little Laura had. He'd been wrong. He'd never been so glad to be wrong before. He felt like kicking himself for jumping to conclusions.

His next thought was one of amazement as he took in the sight of the two toddlers accompanying Kate, one on her hip, the other walking slowly beside her. They were obviously twins; a boy and a girl, if their pink and blue outfits were anything to go by. Desmond stared at them, trying to work out who these two resembled most. The boy looked like Kate, he thought, only with straight hair. The girl was a blonde-haired, blue-eyed angel. She'd inherited her mother's curls, but everything else was Sawyer. All three of the children had dimples, he noticed.

Sawyer called out to Kate at that moment, grinning, to bring the 'midgets' over. Desmond shook his head at the nickname, but couldn't help but smile at the obvious affection behind it. It was very clear that those kids meant the world to Sawyer.

Laura didn't seem to see it that way. When she saw Kate roll her eyes at the nickname (it was obviously a common term of Sawyer's for his youngest children), she sternly told her father not to call the twins midgets; that their names were Molly and Thomas. Although Sawyer looked slightly abashed at being told off by his four year old, Desmond couldn't help but notice that both he and Kate were struggling not to laugh at Laura's perfect imitation of her mother.

The family of five settled down on the sand together, preparing to build "the biggest sandcastle in the whole world ever!", as Laura said. Desmond watched, as they did indeed proceed to build a rather large sandcastle. There were tears from all three children at one stage, when a side of the sandcastle collapsed, half-burying Molly. Laura seemed more concerned that all her work had been for nothing than she was for her sister's safety, and it appeared to Desmond that Thomas was just crying so as not to be left out of all the attention. They were all quickly calmed down when Sawyer mentioned a secret waterfall, however (Desmond had no idea what that was about), and they went back to their task.

All looked perfectly content, and Desmond rejoiced in the sight of them. It seemed that all of their present day worries would be for nothing. Everything was right for them. Their lives were perfect. It wasn't often that Desmond got to foresee a sight like this.

Desmond's vision started to blur again. He had the same sense that time was shifting as he'd had before. He was starting to get used to it by now. He assumed he was going back to his present. He couldn't wait to go and reassure Kate and Sawyer, to tell them what was to come. The scene cleared, and he thought he'd see the two of them on the beach, where he'd left them.

He was wrong. When all Desmond's senses returned to normal, he was surrounded by gunfire.

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Let me know what you think! 


	3. Chapter 3

Huge thanks to all my reviewers! The feedback you've been giving me is very useful. Glad you all liked the future. Here's a little more of it.

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_Chapter3._

There was some kind of battle waging around him. Bullets were flying everywhere. Desmond wondered how he wasn't being hit; there were so many, it seemed impossible. Then he realised he _was_ being hit. They were going right through him, but they weren't causing any damage. It occurred to him that when he experienced these… flashes, whatever they were, he wasn't in physical form. He'd never noticed that before.

It was nighttime on the beach. It should have been dark, but the scene was partially lit by the light of campfires. From what Desmond could see in the dim light, much of the sand was soaked in blood. The smell of the ocean, so vivid at all times, was completely masked by the smell of torturous pain. That indescribable scent filled the air, the fumes choking Desmond.

Scanning the area, he tried to figure out what was going on. He recognized several survivors of the crash. Fighting them were the people Desmond took to be the Others, as they were usually refereed to. With horror, Desmond realised that the Others were trying to take the survivors by force, just as they had so many times before. Never like this, though. This was all out war.

Looking around in terror, he noticed a large army helicopter on the beach, a short distance away. Before he could fully figure out what this meant, Jack ran past. Desmond heard him yell out something about rescue. That was all he needed to hear. They were finally being rescued.

He looked back at the battle again. It was spread out, all along the beach, as far as he could see. There seemed to be three groups, not that he noticed. The survivors, the others, and the rescuers. The survivors were struggling to get to the helicopter, but the were being held back by a line of gunfire. It was like there was a wall separating the survivors from their rescuers. Desmond felt sick. How had it come to this?

He watched helplessly as one of the Others picked up a child, and started to run for the jungle. The child was screaming for its mother, but there was no one running towards the sound. It was like he'd been forgotten. It was wrong. Everything about the situation was wrong.

Another young child was in the arms of a crazed man, being carried off, screaming. A young woman chased after them, pleading for the man to let her daughter go. Desmond could only watch in horror as the man turned around, and violently hit her in the face with the butt of the gun he was carrying. Her screaming stopped instantly, as she fell to the ground, blood quickly pooling around her. The child stopped screaming at the sight. It was as though her voice had been snatched from her. All she could do now was stare, pale, still. She stopped struggling. The man disappeared into the jungle with her. No one noticed.

Amongst the gunfire, Desmond suddenly saw two little girls running towards the helicopter. Though they were older, Desmond knew they were the same curly-haired girls from before. Kate and Sawyer's daughters. They were holding hands and crying, running together, trying to get away from the deranged man who was chasing them. The older of the girls was dragging the other along slightly. Any second, it looked like she would fall, and then it would be over. Desmond wished he could help.

Kate appeared just then. She yelled out to the girls to run towards the helicopter. She was crying, too. Desmond could hear her anguished cries over all the other sounds. He wondered why she wasn't going with the girls, why she wasn't making sure they were safe. Then he heard what she was crying.

Through the terrible cries, two words were discernable. Sawyer. Thomas. She couldn't leave until she knew her whole family was safe. Desmond couldn't stand to watch. He was so sure she would be struck down if she stayed where she was.

Just when Desmond thought all hope was lost for her, Sawyer appeared, holding their son in his arms. As Desmond watched, it was like time stopped for them. Kate looked like she was about to collapse from the relief. She ran over to Sawyer and hugged the two. It seemed to Desmond that time stopped for the family. Everything stood still in their world. But it was for a moment too long.

The Others were closing in on them again. They wanted Thomas. Kate and Sawyer started running after the girls, determined that they would all survive this.

Some of the Others appeared in front of them, blocking their path. One of them knocked Sawyer out, while another quickly grabbed Thomas out of his arms. Kate fought to get him back, but was knocked out before she could get near him. Now it was Thomas' cries that taunted Desmond. It was as though they were demanding to know why he was standing there, doing nothing. Desmond knew, on a certain level, that Thomas couldn't actually see him. But he still felt the weight of his unspoken accusation.

Desmond heard the Others say that they had all three now. He thought this meant Kate, Sawyer and Thomas. Then he saw two large men approaching, each carrying a terrified little girl. The children. They had them all. And Kate and Sawyer weren't getting up.

Bullets were still flying everywhere. Desmond could hardly see Kate and Sawyer anymore, as more people flocked to their position. From a fleeting glance, he thought he saw Sawyer moving. But Kate was very still, and Desmond had a horrible suspicion that she was bleeding.

The kids were all crying now. They were terrified. All Desmond could think was that someone had to do something, anything to save them.

Most of the group was running towards the helicopter now. He watched as Claire and a young boy he took to be Aaron climbed to safety. They'd escaped the Others clutches. Many of them had, apparently. Desmond was glad, but he wished they'd notice the kids. None of them did. Desmond wished, once again, that he could do something. But he couldn't, because after all, in this time and space, he didn't exist.

Just as Desmond was anticipating the worst, someone did appear, out of nowhere. Just as the Other were about to disappear into the jungle, taking the children with them, someone came running out, blocking their path, as though he knew exactly where they'd be.

Desmond was shocked to see himself, but only for a second. It made sense. He would be the only one who knew what happened.

Desmond got ready to see how he was going to save Kate and Sawyer and their children. Before it happened, however, he heard that strange rushing sound again. He was gone from the scene before he could see how it was going to end.

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Please review! 


	4. Chapter 4

_Thanks again to all my reviewers! You guys are great. This chapter is the one that gave me the idea for this whole story, and I think it's my favourite. Hope everyone else enjoys it!_

_

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__Chapter 4._

Desmond found himself back on an empty beach. There was no sign of a battle ever taking place. There was no sign of anything. Looking around, he saw the tents. They were in the same place as they'd always been, but they looked horribly abandoned.

Desmond took this to mean that the rescue had been successful, that they were safe, that no one was living on the island now. He couldn't consider the alternative.

But then, why was he here? What could he witness on an abandoned beach that would have any significant meaning? What lesson was he about to learn?

As he was pondering this, he heard a strange rumbling sound in the distance. It was vaguely familiar to him, though he had no clue what it was, or where he'd heard it before. The rumbling grew louder and louder, further intriguing him.

Just then, a helicopter appeared in the sky. As it came into land, Desmond realised that that was the noise he'd heard. He'd actually forgotten what they sounded like. The thought amazed him.

Desmond watched as three people stepped down from the helicopter. They were young, early twenties, Desmond thought. Two women and a man. They looked familiar, he thought, but he couldn't quite place it.

They drew closer. One of the women, a brunette, was a little further ahead than the others. Once he could see her face, Desmond saw that it was Kate. He was overwhelmed with relief when he realised this. She mustn't have been too badly hurt after all. She must have been rescued, along with Sawyer and the kids. They were all okay. Desmond felt like cheering. He'd grown very attached to that little family. He couldn't wait to meet them in real time.

Desmond wondered who the other two people were. They were still too far away for him to see their faces. All he could tell was that the other woman was blonde, and the man had dark hair.

Where was Sawyer? And the kids? Desmond wanted to see what they looked like now, if they still had their father's dimples, and if the girls still had their mother's curls. Maybe there'd even be another one, bringing the number up to four.

They were getting very close now. Desmond looked in the direction they were headed. The cemetery. That's where they were going. It looked much grander than he remembered. It had a proper fence around it, and the crude wooden crosses had been replaced by carved stone. There was a large monument in the middle, decorated with a plaque of some kind. Dead flowers were at its base. Desmond noticed that all three people were carrying small bouquets. With that, Desmond suddenly felt very somber. They'd come back to the island to visit the ones who hadn't left.

The blonde woman broke away from the others, and started running towards Desmond. He waved for a moment, before remembering that she couldn't see him. He still didn't quite know who she was.

"Molly, wait up!" yelled Kate. Only, it wasn't Kate. Desmond finally realised. If the blonde one was Molly, then the brunette had to be Laura. Desmond stared. She really did look like her mother. So did Thomas, he noticed. Molly stopped running, coming to a standstill very close to where Desmond was. She looked back at her brother and sister and smirked. That one's pure Sawyer, Desmond thought. She must give the other two hell.

Molly waited impatiently for the other two to catch up, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, idly hitting her thigh with her hand. Laura and Thomas didn't hurry for her benefit, Desmond noticed with amusement. Eventually, they reached her.

"Took you long enough." That smirk again. Laura rolled her eyes at her younger sister's comment. Thomas had a more direct way of dealing with it. He grabbed her, and before Molly had a chance to get away he had her in a headlock. Molly started playfully hitting Thomas, yelling at him to "get off me!". Desmond thought they could have continued like this for quite a while, had Laura not been there. "Enough! I'm so sick of you two midgets tackling each other every chance you get! We're at a cemetery. Show some respect." Desmond was amused to see that Sawyer's nickname for the twins, once so clearly disapproved by his elder daughter, had stuck, even though the twins were both now a few inches taller than their sister.

Thomas and Molly stopped what they were doing, and for a few moments the three stood side by side, staring solemnly at the scene in front of them. The girls had tears in their eyes, Desmond noticed.

Thomas noticed this too, and he put a comforting arm around each sister's shoulder. Desmond started to get the sense that there was something here, something big, but he didn't want to think about it. He couldn't, not till he had to.

"Come on," said Laura, and she opened the gate to the small graveyard, leading the others inside. Desmond followed, filled with dread at what he was about to see.

They headed over to a corner of the graveyard, where Desmond saw two marble headstones, side by side. "Miss you Momma, Daddy," Laura said softly, laying her flowers on the ground. The others followed suit, Molly crying now.

For a few minutes, Desmond watched, as the three siblings sat silently at the graves of their parents. It seemed like everything, including time itself, stood still, allowing them to grieve. An angry outburst by Thomas shattered the illusion.

"It isn't fair!" he yelled, kicking a rock hard against the fence. The girls didn't say anything. They understood what he was feeling too well to want to calm him down.

"They were only trying to protect us. What kind of person would kill two people for wanting to save their children?" His sisters still didn't respond. Molly got up, walked over to him, and laid her head on his shoulder, sharing his pain.

Laura walked over to another headstone, one Desmond hadn't taken much notice of. She put her hand on it, gently.

"Desmond saved us," she said, quietly. Suddenly, Desmond knew what she was going to say. Whose tombstone that was.

"He was the only one who noticed us. He was the only one who realised what was happening."

"He came out of nowhere" Molly remembered. "How did he know?"

"Doesn't matter now." Laura replied sadly.

"Yeah." Molly grew quiet again. Laura put her arm around her.

Desmond couldn't watch this scene any longer. He noticed that Thomas had wandered away a bit, so he followed him. Anything was better than starring at his grave, knowing that he was going to die to save these three people before him. The guilt that seemed to radiate from the girls was too much for him to bear.

They quickly noticed that their brother had disappeared, though. They walked over to him, Molly asking what was wrong. Thomas didn't answer at first, just stared out at the sea. When he spoke, his voice was raw with emotion.

"It should have been me." Desmond couldn't stand to hear any more, but at the same time, he knew he had to know how it happened. He listened, terror building inside him.

"We were so close to the helicopter. Jin and Hurley had come back, remember? They got you two on board. Desmond was helping me. We were so close. Then one of Them yelled out that he'd rather we died than escape the island. He shot at me, but Desmond got in the way. I think he did it on purpose. He got shot instead of me. Jack pulled me onboard the helicopter, and then that was it. We just left him there. And Mom and Dad."

"It wasn't your fault, Tom." Molly said softly.

"I know. I just wish it was different." They were quiet again. Desmond was in shock. At least three of them had been left there to die, if they hadn't been killed instantly. How many more had there been? He wondered who had come back the first time, to gather the bodies and bury them. Who was responsible for the memorial site that had been built for them? He realised he'd probably never know.

He watched the three, as they headed over to the tents. They seemed surprised to see most of them still standing. They'd cheered up considerably since leaving the graveyard. Molly and Tom chased each other around, and at one stage they picked up Laura and were threatening to throw her in the ocean. She must have said something to them to make them change their minds, but Desmond wasn't sure what. Whatever it was, they put her down very quickly.

They ran back towards Desmond. He thought they'd be getting ready to leave again, but apparently not. "Let's see if we can find Mom and Dad's secret waterfall." Suggested Molly. Tom wasn't sure. "We've looked a hundred times, and we've never found it. How do you know it's even real? They could have been making it up."

"It's real," insisted Molly. "The way they talked about it, it had to be real."

"Fine," said Tom. Molly grabbed his arm and started to drag him away.

"Are you coming?" he asked Laura. She shook her head. "No, you guys go ahead. I'll wait here." Desmond got the idea that she wanted to be alone.

The twins ran off, pausing at the edge of the jungle as they argued over which way to look. Once they'd finally disappeared, Laura headed back towards the cemetery. Desmond followed her. She went over to his own grave (he shuddered at the thought of that) and knelt down.

"Penny says hello. She's sorry she couldn't come this year. But she said to say she loves you, and she'll definitely be here next year." Desmond had tears in his eyes at those tenderly spoken words. It was too much for him, too much information.

Laura went back to her parents. She sat down, and started talking to the headstones. From what he heard, it sounded like her and various others came back to the island every year on this day. This year, it was just the three of them.

He listened as Laura told her parents about what the other survivors were doing. What she and the twins had done in the last year. Apparently, Molly and Tom were being forced into going to college by Jack, who said it would be good for them. But neither wanted to be there. Desmond laughed as Laura told her parents how they would skip class regularly to go help at Jin's restaurant.

Desmond's tears started up again as he heard Laura tell her parents she got married two months ago. "He's nice. You'd like him. He wanted to come here with me today, but I said I wanted to come alone. I wanted to tell you something, I haven't even told him yet." Laura started to cry again. "I'm pregnant."

"I need you, Mom. I don't know how to do this, you never had the chance to teach me." Desmond cried with her, and wished more than anything he could conjure up the two people this girl wanted.

"I probably won't be able to come next year. But I'll make sure Tom and Molly do. I'll give them a picture of the baby to give you, and I'll make sure they tell you all about it. I'm gonna name it after you. I know you said you didn't like that, Daddy. I remember you said once that new babies shouldn't be saddled with the weight of the dead, and that's what happens when you name a baby after someone who had a hard life. But you were good people. And you deserve to be honored. This is the only way I know how."

Laura started to get up again, sobbing. "I wish I could remember you better." She touched their headstones, leaning on them, crying. Desmond knew she wished they were there to hold her. But she was alone.

After a few minutes, she composed herself. Smiling a little now, she said goodbye to her parents. Desmond though she'd leave the cemetery then. But she didn't. She went back to his grave one last time. She stared at it. Then she touched it lightly, and whispered so softly Desmond was hardly sure of what he was hearing. "Thank you."

With that, Desmond felt himself rushing back in time, back to where it all started.

* * *

_So, that was the last Desmond flash. From now on, the story will be told in real time, still from Desmond's pov._ _Please review, I almost cried while I was writing this, so I'd really love to know what your reactions were._


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 5._

Kate woke up, still wrapped in Sawyer's arms. He was still asleep. She envied him for this. She hadn't slept much. She didn't think he had either. There was too much to think about.

She kept going over the previous night's events in her mind. They were faced with a problem, and they'd come up with a solution to it. At least, that was what they'd thought. It didn't feel like a solution anymore, Kate thought. It felt wrong.

It was strange, but over the last few hours she'd started to grow attached to the idea of having a child. Maybe it was the thought that she'd finally have someone in the world, who was a part of her, and who would love her no matter what. She'd always longed for a person like that. Maybe this was her opportunity. It might be her only opportunity. She couldn't just forfeit that chance, she realised. She couldn't get rid of it.

Sure, there was still a fairly good chance that it wouldn't happen. She knew the odds weren't good. But what if, this one time, things worked out right for her? What if there was a chance?

Sawyer woke up, interrupting her thoughts. From the way he was staring at her, she knew he'd come to the same conclusion over night that she had. Neither of them said anything, but and unspoken agreement passed between the two.

They were going to give this a try.

* * *

Later that day, they walked along the beach together. Sawyer still hadn't said anything. Kate wished he would. Eventually, she looked him in the eye, silently begging him to speak. She couldn't stand another day like the last one. 

Apparently, he didn't want that either. This time, he spoke. "I can't lose you."

Kate was surprised. She wasn't expecting that response. She didn't know what to say to it. It hadn't occurred to her that this was his main concern, that this was why he'd reacted the way he had to the news.

She hugged him, trying to reassure him that she was all right. It seemed a little strange that she was comforting him, when she was the one in danger. Surely it should have been the other way around. At the same time, it felt so right.

Standing together on the beach, Sawyer held on to Kate tightly, as though he could protect her from all this, save her, if he just held her tight enough.

Kate hated that he was feeling so helpless. She tried to reassure him, but it was difficult. "We're on an island, remember? Juliet said that all the pregnant women died sometime in the second trimester. What are the odds that this'll last that long? I might still come out of this alive."

She had tears in her eyes as she said this. They were meant as words of comfort, but it was very half-hearted. She didn't want to think that she might lose the baby, but she forced herself to accept that there was a possibility. It might make it easier to deal with if it actually happened.

Sawyer stared at her. Completely uncomprehending of what she'd just said, Kate thought.

"When I said 'you', I meant both of you, Freckles." It took Kate a moment to fully appreciate the enormity of what he'd just said. When it hit her, she smiled, and laughed a little through the tears that were now falling freely. She buried her face in his chest. She was so relieved to realise that he was just as attached to this baby as she was. They were definitely doing this. She felt terrified all over again.

"I don't know how to do this." She wasn't even sure what she was referring to. It was as though she was looking into the future, and seeing a blank, empty space. There was nothing to tell her what was coming, or how to deal with it.

"We'll figure it out." Their roles had switched; Sawyer was comforting her now. She was glad. She felt like she was slowly falling apart, and she needed someone to catch her.

"It isn't fair." She had to say it. For some reason, she couldn't leave it unsaid.

"Nothing much is." Sawyer sighed into Kate's hair. She relaxed. She was starting to understand what Sun had said. She had to trust that things would be okay. There was no point in imagining anything else.

Together, they walked back to their tent. They were facing an uncertain future; they knew that. But in the here and now, they were okay. It was enough.

* * *

As Desmond watched, he wondered again what they were thinking. He wondered if he should tell them anything about what he saw. Maybe they'd be more optimistic if he told them about the daughter Kate was carrying at that very moment. Or about the twins that would arrive later on down the track. 

But then, what if they started asking questions? How could he tell them that, despite everything, the three children would survive everything to be strong, capable and happy adults, but that they wouldn't live to see it? He couldn't. There was happiness ahead for Kate and Sawyer. He wouldn't ruin it.

Later, Desmond wasn't sure when, they would share their news with everyone. It would be taken as a sign of incredible fortune in a few months time, when Laura would arrive. It would give everyone hope. Only he knew the bittersweet truth. It would remain his burden.

* * *

_So what, did you think?_


	6. Chapter 6

_Thanks for the reviews guys! Sorry the last chapter was so short, this story is sort of writing itself and I can't always control the length of the chapters. Now, is the future set in stone? Keep reading to find out..._

* * *

_Chapter 6._

Desmond walked through the jungle, thinking nothing of where he was going. Two images kept repeating in his mind, as though they were being played on a loop. One he had actually seen, the other he could only imagine.

Those three children, playing in the sand. Himself, slain by a bullet. He couldn't get rid of those pictures. They were torturing him.

It had been a few weeks since his journey into the future. He still hadn't told Kate and Sawyer what he'd seen. He wasn't sure he should. It was going to happen, no matter what he did. They'd see it for themselves in time, and it would undoubtedly be a whole lot better then hearing about it second hand.

Anyway, they hadn't told anyone they were expecting yet. Except maybe Jack and Juliet. Desmond had seen the four caught up in private conversations many times over the past few weeks, and it made sense that the doctors would know what was happening. They probably thought there were still huge risks involved. Desmond knew better.

Desmond was surprised no one else had figured it out, with the way Sawyer had been acting. He'd become a little overprotective, to say the least. Kate wasn't allowed to carry anything anymore; just the previous day, Desmond had seen Sawyer take two water bottles out of her hands, insisting on carrying them the short walk from the water trough to their tent. And he'd never before seen Sawyer act out the way he did when Hurley accidentally bumped into Kate.

It was entertaining, he had to admit.

Desmond was so distracted as he was walking, he barely noticed when he reached the beach. When he did realise where he was, he wondered about the lack of people milling about. Usually, everyone spread out along the beach, each caught up in their own activities. But this day, everyone was gathered outside one tent, whispering to each other.

Desmond started to walk a bit faster. Something had to be wrong, for everyone to be behaving like this. As he got closer, he noticed it was Kate and Sawyer's tent everyone was gathered around, and his heart leapt in his throat. There couldn't be anything wrong with one of them. He'd seen them in the future. So why was everyone there?

Now he was closer to the tent, he could hear agonized cries coming from within. Just as he drew level with the crowd, Jack exited the tent, his face grim.

"Alright everyone, give them some space. Everything's going to be fine." He looked worried, his expression completely contradicting his words.

The crowd slowly dispersed, but Desmond stayed. He had to know what was going on. By now, he'd figured out that it was Kate he was hearing. What was happening to her?

Jack started to walk down to the ocean. Desmond followed. He waited until he was sure there was no one around to hear them, then asked the question that was burning inside him.

"What happened to her?"

Jack sighed. He looked tortured.

"Kate was pregnant." The way he said it, he obviously expected it to be enough information. But it wasn't. Desmond already knew about the pregnancy. What he didn't know was what was wrong with her now.

Then it registered. Jack had used the past tense. She wasn't pregnant now.

Desmond was in shock. How could that be? Jack noticed his expression, and elaborated on his previous statement.

"Juliet and Sawyer are in there with her now. She's in a lot of pain, but Juliet thinks it should be pretty straight forward." Jack looked like he was holding back tears as he said this. "It might take a while though." He slowly sank down to the ground, staring out at sea. Desmond sat beside him.

They stayed like that, neither saying anything, both trying to block out the sounds coming from the tent behind them. Neither was aware of the time passing.

Eventually, Juliet emerged from the tent, looking weary. Jack saw her, and stood up to meet her. Desmond followed suit.

"How is she?" Jack asked as soon as Juliet was within a reasonable distance.

She nodded, not quite sure how to answer. "She'll be okay, I think. Physically, anyway. Sawyer's still with her. I think they need to be alone for awhile. I'll go back and check on her later."

Jack nodded. Desmond couldn't believe they were so calm about this. It wasn't right, it wasn't supposed to happen.

Jack and Juliet left, leaving Desmond alone with his thoughts again. How did this happen? He'd seen the baby alive. He'd seen her in her twenties, heard her say she was having a baby of her own. But now she was gone…

Over the next few days, Desmond continued to struggle with what he'd seen. Eventually, he decided that the Kate he'd seen in the future must have had a miscarriage. She hadn't been pregnant with Laura; that was still to come. Things started to seem okay again. The three children would still come, just not yet. It had to happen. It wasn't possible to change the future.

The only problem was, Kate and Sawyer seemed to be having a little trouble moving past what had happened. Sure, it hadn't been very long and they were certainly allowed to be grieving, but they weren't talking to each other at all. It wasn't anyone's fault, Desmond thought, but neither seemed to be able to move out of the rut they were stuck in.

* * *

Kate was exhausted. She wanted to sleep; she wanted darkness. She wanted to be left alone. For the most part, people were ignoring her, and even though it was just what she wanted, it only made her feel worse. 

She was vaguely aware that time was passing. People were eating now. She didn't want food. She didn't think she'd ever want it again. She just… didn't feel like it.

She lay alone in the tent she now shared with Sawyer. She had no idea where he was. She was glad. It was too hard being near him. She didn't know what to say to him anymore.

Eventually, Sun came in to talk to her. Kate didn't say anything to her. Sun asked her to come to the garden with her. Kate heard her say something about fresh air; she wasn't exactly listening. Whatever it was, Kate didn't want to leave her tent. She new that if she spent time with people, she'd probably start to feel better. Things would seem okay for a while. But then, later, when she was on her own again, there'd be that slow crash and burn. She'd feel worse than before. It would be crippling.

Kate didn't want to feel that. It would be better to forego the relative happiness than to suffer its aftermath. Sun left, looking disappointed.

Now, on top of everything else, Kate felt guilty. She was a horrible friend. Maybe it wasn't too late to go after Sun. Anything to alleviate the guilt. But she doesn't. She couldn't.

All she could think about was that day. It was her fault, it had to be. The guilt of it was what kept her from moving.

Lying there, in the tent where it had happened, she could smell the blood, even though it was gone. The odor had permeated the walls of the tents, she thought. She wondered if it would always be there.

She hoped it would. It was horrible, it was sick, but on some level she enjoyed the smell of the blood. It meant that she still remembered, and the last thing she wanted to do was forget.

Vincent ran into the tent. He lay down close to Kate's head, and for a while they just stared at one another. Kate felt that Vincent understood what she was feeling. She wanted so much to reach over and pat him, but she didn't think she had the energy. Just as she started to move her hand, someone outside called the dog. Vincent looked towards the voice, then back to Kate. Regretfully it seemed, he got up and ran off, before Kate had a chance to touch his fur. Disappointed, she dropped her hand back to the ground.

The sun moved slowly across the sky, but Kate barely noticed. She just lay there. She couldn't do anything else.

* * *

Sawyer was alone in the jungle. This was his choice; the last thing he wanted at that moment was to be with other people. He wanted to be alone, with his misery, his violence, and his anger. They were his most loyal companions. 

He wanted to punish himself for everything that had happened. He was chopping wood, violently, venting his anger in the only safe way he knew how. At least, safe for everyone else. Secretly, he was hoping for some kind of mishap to occur. He thought he deserved it; he deserved pain.

The sound of Kate's screams kept playing in his head. He heard them, over and over again. It was so real he wasn't sure if they were only in his head.

He swung his axe into the wood, as loud as he could to try to drown out the painful cries. It wasn't working. Every time the thud of the axe failed to mask a scream, he felt even more frustrated. But only for a second. Then he felt relieved, because deep down, he wanted to remember. He felt he owed it to his unborn child to at least remember its last moments. Then he thought of Kate, and the cycle started all over again.

His arms were aching; blisters were forming on his hands. He enjoyed the pain. He deserved it, he wanted to increase it. He would have loved nothing more than to gradually build the pain until it became so intense that he blacked out.

He realised it was stupid, of course. Part of him didn't care. Another part of him thought he deserved even more pain and punishment now for such idiocy.

Hurley stopped by. He seemed to realise what was going on with Sawyer, but he got nowhere when he tried to talk to him. After Sawyer exploded at him, he left quickly. Now Sawyer had a new reason to hate himself. He'd just driven away a person he was just beginning to consider a friend. The again, why would Sawyer need a friend anyway? He'd always gotten by just fine on his own.

* * *

At sunset, Sawyer sat on the beach staring at the sea. He was more than slightly annoyed at how clichéd it was, but the waves were having a soothing effect on him. He felt calmer as he sat there, having finally laid down his axe. 

Of course, as soon as he noticed this sense of calmness overtake him, because of the _waves_, of all things, he got annoyed again. But as he glared at the water, cursing it for playing its tricks on him, the gentle lapping of water on the sandy beach soothed his frustration. And so it went on.

By this time, Kate had finally managed to get up and leave her tent. She was so tired. Every movement she made seemed to completely drain her of energy. She considered turning around and going right back to bed. Then she saw Sawyer in the distance.

She started to wander over to him. She wasn't really sure why. She felt a bit like she would collapse before she even got there. She wondered why she was bothering.

Sawyer watched he walk towards him. For a moment he stopped in his furious mental battle with the waves, and stared at her. She looked like she was about to pass out.

He thought of getting up to help her, but he couldn't. He liked knowing someone lese was suffering. It made him feel less alone. He felt guilty for feeling that way, but didn't see the point in denying it. At the same time, he wished there was something he could do to end both their suffering.

Kate finally made it to where he was, and dropped onto the sand beside him. Neither acknowledged the other. They stayed that way for a while.

Sawyer felt his anger disappear next to Kate. She always had a calming effect on him. She leaned against him, weary. The physical contact felt good.

Next to Sawyer, feeling his presence, Kate felt grounded. Like she might actually make it through this after all. After a few minutes of them sitting together in silence, she leaned into him further, half lying across his lap. He held onto her tightly, as though he needed her as much as she needed him. Together, they watched the waves roll across the sand, losing all sense of time.

* * *

Desmond sat, watching Kate and Sawyer. They seemed to have fixed things a little, and he was glad. But still, there was an aura of sadness surrounding them on that beach, and he couldn't stand to see it. They needed hope. He was the only one who could give it to them. 

Maybe that's why he'd seen that first vision. He knew he always saw things for a reason. The second and third one told him what he had to do, what sacrifice he was going to make. He'd wondered what was so important about seeing the family on the beach together. Maybe this was why. Maybe he was supposed to tell them.

If he only told them about the first flash, if he let on that it was all he saw, they wouldn't ask any questions. He'd have to insist he hadn't seen anything else. He couldn't let them know the truth.

He walked over to where they sat, lost in their thoughts. He had no idea what he was going to say to them. How do you make someone believe you can see the future? He decided the only thing to do was say it, and hope for the best.

"Lately I've been having these …visions. I see the future." Probably not the best start, but it was the truth. Kate and Sawyer stared at him. Neither said anything. They probably thought he was crazy.

"I know it sounds ridiculous" That was an understatement. Desmond had a feeling he wasn't getting very far. An angry response from Sawyer confirmed his suspicions.

"What makes you think - "

Desmond cut him off. "I saw you. In the future. With your kids."

Now he had their attention. Their eyes widened, stunned. Even Sawyer seemed willing to listen now. Desmond continued, looking at him, sensing that he would have a harder time believing than Kate.

"I saw you with a little girl, playing on the beach. The I saw you, Kate, join them with a pair of toddlers. Twins, a boy and a girl." Sawyer looked like he wanted so badly to believe this. Kate, meanwhile, was staring at Desmond, her eyes hungry for more information.

"You looked happy. Like you didn't have a care in the world. And the kids… they were the most adorable things I've ever seen."

Kate was crying now. Even Sawyer looked teary. They were clinging to each other, Sawyer stroking Kate's hair. Neither seemed capable of speaking.

"That's your future. That's what you have to look forward to. I don't know when it'll happen exactly. But I know that it will."

Desmond started to leave, sensing that they needed to be alone. He was glad he told them. He wasn't sure if they believed him, but he could tell they wanted to. It was something.

As he was leaving, Kate finally spoke, so softly he hardly heard it.

"Thank you."

He turned back and nodded to her, then walked away.

* * *

Review please! 


	7. Chapter 7

_Thanks again for the reviews. I think I lost a few readers, hopefully people are still enjoying this. This chapter is the longest I've ever written, so it should make up for some of the shorter ones._

_So, in celebration of my birthday, here is the newest chapter of Bittersweet Beginnings._

* * *

_Chapter 7._

Once again, as the sun was rising, Desmond walked. It had become a habit of his to wander meaninglessly, along the beach, through the jungle, wherever his feet took him. Every morning he went on this stroll. He used the time to think. He usually had a lot to think about.

Though years had passed, little had changed. There had been deaths, many of them, some of which he had foreseen, yet for those who still managed to survive life on this island, everything was the same as it had always been.

He still had his visions. He was used to them by now. No matter how horrible the things were that he saw, he accepted them. He'd given up trying to change things; he'd learnt by now there was no point. It was a depressing thought, and it did nothing to alleviate his guilt whenever someone died a meaningless death, though it had helped him come to terms with his own end.

There was a set time frame now. He knew roughly how many years he had left. In a normal situation, he would probably plan to make the most of them, do the things he'd always wanted to do. Seize the day. But this wasn't a normal situation. So he continued going about his days as though nothing had changed. It was surprisingly easy.

The jungle was clearing now. He was back on the beach. Out of habit, he looked over towards Kate and Sawyer's tent. He'd gotten closer to them in the last few years, ever since he'd told them about their kids. At the time he was sure they hadn't fully believed him. He'd told them what they wanted to hear, and while they had been grateful, they'd quickly passed it off as nothing. The way Desmond remembered it, they'd actually avoided him for a little while. They probably thought he was crazy. It was what Desmond would've thought had he been in their position.

But then Desmond started to tell more people about what he was seeing. Not everything, just little things. That tent will collapse in the storm tonight. A sudden wave will knock over the sandcastle Claire helped Aaron build, even though they'd taken care to build it up the beach, away from the tide. A boar will run through the camp just after dark. When his 'predictions' came true, time after time, people started believing him. Even Kate and Sawyer. He could see them staring at him at times. He imagined they were wondering again if what he'd told them was true, if it would actually happen. He could see fleeting glimpses of a kind of cautious hope at times. They started talking to him again. Never about what he had told them. There seemed to be an agreement between the three to never mention that conversation again. Nevertheless, they'd become unlikely friends.

Today, Sawyer was sitting alone outside his tent, with his baby daughter in his lap. Desmond stayed where he was, hoping to watch the two for a while without being seen. Sawyer was a different person when he was with the baby. Especially when he was alone with her. It was a time when he truly let his guard down.

Desmond wasn't as well hidden as he'd thought, though. Sawyer spotted him almost immediately. Desmond studied the look on the other man's face. He didn't seem to be annoyed at being watched. Desmond decided it was safe to go and talk to him.

After briefly exchanging pleasantries, Desmond sat opposite Sawyer. They sat in silence for a few minutes. Desmond could tell Sawyer had something on his mind. He watched the baby, pulling faces for her amusement, while he waited for Sawyer to decide what he wanted to say. He knew by now there was no point in rushing him. Over the sound of the baby's giggles, Sawyer finally spoke.

"Did you know we were gonna call her Laura?"

Desmond was surprised; it was the first time he'd brought up the subject of his visions. It was dangerous territory. Desmond wasn't sure exactly how much he should reveal. He decided to play it by ear. He reminded himself, they only knew about he first vision. There was probably no harm in telling him more about that one.

"Yes."

Sawyer seemed to struggle a little with this answer. Desmond didn't blame him. It wasn't like it was the easiest thing to consider.

"What if we'd called her something else?"

"But you didn't." It was confusing; even though Desmond was the one living it, he found it hard to explain. He knew how it must have sounded to Sawyer, that he no longer had any real choices.

"Well, what about those twins we're _supposedly_ gonna have? Do we have a say in what we name them, or is it already decided?"

Desmond had thought about this himself. He didn't really know what the right answer was, so he gave what he thought the answer was, as confusing as it was.

"You always had a say. You named them."

Kate chose that moment to join them, relieving Desmond. He was glad he didn't have to try to explain it anymore.

She sat beside Sawyer, taking the baby from him. Laura nuzzled into the crook of her neck, yawning. Her parents watched as she quickly fell asleep in her mother's arms. Desmond felt like an intruder in this moment, as Sawyer planted a kiss on Kate's forehead, asking her if she'd slept okay. She leaned against him, mumbling something Desmond couldn't hear. He thought he'd better leave the family to themselves, and started to get up. Before he could, however, Kate spoke to him.

"So what's all this talk about baby's names?"

Desmond started to answer, but was interrupted by Sawyer.

"You heard all that? You were supposed to be sleeping!"

"I was. Then I woke up." She replied, rolling her eyes. Sawyer's protective streak hadn't ended with Kate's pregnancy. He was still very concerned with her well being, ensuring she got plenty of rest and insisting that she have Juliet check over her every couple of days. Desmond didn't really blame him, the past few months had been very tense. After what had happened with Sun, and Kate's last pregnancy, everyone had been concerned about her.

"So, are we picking out more names already? Don't you think it's a bit soon?"

Desmond thought she had a point, but he was surprised to see Sawyer looking a little embarrassed.

"No harm in being prepared" he said, looking at the ground. Kate laughed. Desmond tried not to chuckle as well.

"You're excited, aren't you? What, Laura's growing up too fast? You want to relive the whole pregnancy thing again? Is that it?" She always enjoyed teasing Sawyer.

"Yeah, well…" He didn't have any response. Kate kept laughing, until Laura awoke, objecting to her mother's noise with a cry. Only then did Kate stop, and the three grew quiet again until she had soothed Laura back to sleep.

"What did you have in mind?" she asked Sawyer, quietly, so as not to wake her daughter again. She still looked like she was trying not to laugh.

For a few seconds it looked like Sawyer wasn't going to answer, sure that Kate was just going to laugh again. But she kept staring at him, silently waiting for his response.

He shrugged, trying to make it look like he didn't care that much. "I like the name Molly for the girl." Kate saw right through his charade, and nodded, considering the name.

"Molly's cute." Both looked at Desmond expectantly, trying to sense any kind of reaction. Desmond had been expecting this, and had fixed his expression in a way that he hoped gave away nothing. Particularly after talking with Sawyer, he wanted them to think they had a choice, that it wasn't set in stone. He knew how much they'd enjoyed picking out the perfect name for their firstborn.

Sawyer smirked. "Guess it's not gonna be that easy, Freckles."

Desmond smirked back at him. It looked like his plan had worked.

Kate had other things on her mind now. "I wish I didn't know we had twins coming. Everything's hard enough with just one, and you're telling me in a couple of years we'll be doing it all again with two? Are you sure?" She seemed genuinely worried.

"I'm sure. And don't worry, you'll be fine." Not exactly the most reassuring words, but Desmond thought she seemed to take some comfort from them, however small.

"Guess we better pick out a boy's name too then." Sawyer looked determined to get this sorted out now.

Kate didn't even take a second to think about this one. "I want to name him Thomas."

"Why?" Sawyer asked.

Kate paused. Now she was the one avoiding the other's eyes. If anything, this only intrigued Sawyer more.

"What, he some old boyfriend you don't want me knowing about?" He tried to sound flippant, but Desmond detected a certain amount of worry in his voice.

Kate sighed. "Sort of. He was my best friend when I was a kid. We did everything together." She was clearly dredging up some sad memories. "When we grew up, when I…went on the run from the feds, we lost touch. Then my mom got sick. Tom was a doctor. I thought he could help me, so I went back to him. He got killed because of me." She was rambling, not making much sense.

Sawyer understood the gist of it anyway. "No. We aren't naming our kid after someone who died."

"Why not?" Kate was obviously upset by his disagreeing. She really seemed to want to name her son after her friend.

Sawyer was getting angry. "Because it isn't right! It isn't fair to put a burden like that on kid! We're not naming him that!"

"Fine! You can name him!" Laura woke up again at the sound of her parents yelling. Sawyer stormed off. Kate burst into tears, her cries mixing with her daughter's screams.

Desmond took the baby from her, embarrassed to have witnessed such a private argument, and wanting to calm both of them. He let Kate cry for a few minutes while he settled the baby down again. Both their cries subsided at the same time. The baby fell asleep again. Kate looked embarrassed.

"Sorry you had to see that. I don't know what's wrong with me lately." Desmond knew that wasn't what she was upset about. He decided to give her something, another little insight.

"Don't worry love. He won't be able to think of another name."

"How do you know that?"

"Because he didn't." Desmond watched as a look of slow dawning comprehension came over Kate's face. She smiled, silently thanking him. She watched her daughter for a few minutes, yawning every so often. Desmond didn't fail to notice this.

"Why don't you go and get some more sleep? I'll watch the little one until Sawyer comes back."

She nodded, and got up. She leaned over and gave the baby a kiss, before getting up and going back into her tent. Desmond stood up with Laura, and decided to go and find Sawyer.

"Come on, princess, let's go see if your daddy's calmed down any."

* * *

It didn't take Desmond long to find Sawyer. He was fairly predictable; whenever he got angry he'd storm off in a huff and chop firewood for a while. Desmond had seen it many times now, and had to admire him. He never completely lost control in front of anyone; he always made a choice to go off on his own until he calmed down. Desmond sometimes wondered what had happened to make Sawyer that way. It was like he was afraid he'd actually hurt someone if he stayed. 

Desmond approached Sawyer slowly, wanting to see if he was still angry. If he was, Desmond decided he'd leave him be. He'd come back when he was ready. If Sawyer was a bit calmer, he'd approach him. He just hoped the sound of the axe wouldn't wake the baby again. She wasn't getting much sleep today.

Luckily, Sawyer noticed Desmond almost straight away and put the axe down. He seemed a little ashamed of himself. That was a good sign, Desmond thought. This would probably be another one their arguments that would blow over in no time.

Desmond figured, now that Sawyer seemed to be himself again, he'd pass the baby back to him and go about his day. However, much to Desmond's surprise, Sawyer had other things on his mind.

"So, they're definitely all gonna be okay?"

Desmond didn't bother pretending he didn't know what he meant. "I only saw you the one time. But the five of you will be on that beach in a few years time. The kids, and Kate, will be fine."

Sawyer nodded, a little relieved, but still, Desmond imagined, picturing a thousand different scenarios where something could go horribly wrong.

"I know you're worried, brother. I don't blame you. But Juliet's serum works. You don't have to worry about that anymore."

"That's great, _brother_, but you don't know everything. So we know they'll be fine for a few years, what happens after that? I'd feel a whole lot better knowing for sure they'll all live to see their teenage years."

Through the sarcasm, Desmond detected very real concern in Sawyer's voice. The thing that stood out the most, though, was that he only seemed to care about his kids. He wasn't worried about whether or not he'd live to see them grow up. It was times like this that Desmond hated knowing what he knew.

"You know more than most parents do. It's not every day a person can look at their child and know for absolute sure what they'll be doing in the future."

"Yeah, well…" Sawyer paused, kicking at a rock. Deliberately not looking at Desmond, as though what he was about to say was the most embarrassing thing he could ever possibly admit to. "I just need to know the kids will be safe. That's all that matters now. Kate says the same thing. They're what matters."

Desmond wondered then if he was right in withholding what he knew. Obviously, Kate and Sawyer would be fine with knowing they were going to die, as long as their children survived. At the same time, he didn't want them to have that shadow hanging over their heads their whole lives, the way he now did. Luckily, Juliet entered the clearing at that moment, saving Desmond from his thoughts.

"Hi guys. Hi, little Laura, how are you today? Are you good?" As Juliet cooed over the baby, Sawyer seemed to notice for the first time that Desmond had his daughter.

"Why do you have Laura? Where's Kate?"

"You left her in a right mess. I thought I'd take the baby off her hands for a while, let her sleep." Sawyer looked worried at hearing this, as Desmond had expected.

"She alright?" Sawyer asked, trying to hide his concern. In all the time Desmond had known him, Sawyer had never been good at showing his emotions in front of a crowd. Apparently, Desmond and Juliet counted as a crowd.

"Why don't you go and see for yourself?"

Sawyer turned away and picked up the axe again. "Nah, sounds like she just needs sleep. Probably better if I leave her in peace for a while. Besides, I gotta chop some more wood…" he trailed off. It was clear to everyone that he was making excuses. Desmond decided to not push him. They'd figure it out on their own.

Just then, Laura started crying. Desmond tried to shush her again, but Juliet interrupted his efforts to say she was probably hungry. Desmond sighed inwardly. It looked like Kate was going to be disturbed after all.

"I guess I'll take her back to her mum then." He wasn't expecting any arguments about this, so he was surprised when Sawyer asked Juliet to take her instead.

Juliet rolled her eyes at the request. She was constantly being asked by Sawyer to check on Kate, make sure she was all right, despite both women insisting that she was fine.

"Do you want me to check on her again? James, she's fine. You don't need to worry anymore."

Sawyer didn't respond to this. He looked uncomfortable though. Desmond guessed that he didn't quite believe her. Juliet noticed too.

"All right, I'll go." Sawyer seemed grateful for this, but, of course, didn't say anything.

Juliet took the now screaming baby from Desmond and headed back to camp. Desmond decided to follow her, leaving Sawyer alone again. He figured he still had a bit of pent up frustration to vent before he talked to Kate again.

* * *

Juliet was nearing Kate's tent, Laura's cries attracting stares from onlookers. She felt a bit of resentment at this; after everything, they still seemed to expect her to take the baby and disappear to the other side of the island. She ignored their looks, focusing on her destination. 

Kate had apparently heard them coming. She met them outside the tent, looking slightly alarmed at the sound of her daughter's screams. She relaxed as Juliet passed the baby to her.

"I think she's hungry." Kate only nodded; Juliet guessed she'd probably figured that out already. She headed back into the tent. Juliet followed, with no objection from Kate.

"Why do you have Laura? I left her with Desmond." Kate asked as she started to feed Laura.

Juliet briefly explained how she'd run into Sawyer and Desmond talking. When she mentioned hearing about their argument, she noticed Kate looked a little embarrassed. Not sure what to make of that, Juliet decided to tread carefully.

"Anyway, Sawyer asked me to come and check on you."

Kate scoffed at this. "Again? Is it just me, or he being a little overprotective?"

"He's just worried." That didn't seem to be the answer Kate was hoping for.

"He doesn't need to be." Juliet had a feeling she was still thinking about their fight, whatever it had been about. She was a slightly more defensive than usual.

Juliet sighed. "He has a right to be a little concerned. After your miscarriage, and with Sun dying…" She paused seeing the pained expression on Kate's face.

"So how are you feeling?" She had an idea that Kate was feeling a lot more than she let on.

"Well, I burst into tears at the end of a stupid argument about nothing this morning. These hormones are still driving me nuts."

Juliet smiled. "Maybe. Or maybe Sawyer was just being an ass." That got a smile out of her. But Juliet wasn't satisfied. She wanted Kate to open up.

"How are you feeling generally?" From Kate's expression at being asked this, Juliet guessed she was finally going to get an honest response from her.

"Overwhelmed. I never imagined I'd feel this way about anyone." Juliet smiled. It was something she heard quite often from new mothers.

"But I can't help thinking about the one I lost. And I feel so guilty that I survived when Sun didn't."

Juliet had been expecting an answer like that. She was glad Kate had finally admitted to it.

"That's perfectly normal." She said, trying to reassure Kate. "You were lucky. Sun wasn't. As horrible as the miscarriage was, it gave us time. I needed those few extra years. I wish I could have helped Sun, too. But I believe everything happens for a reason. You have a beautiful baby girl now. That's all that matters."

Kate smiled gratefully. Juliet decided to leave and give her some space. She guessed she had a lot to think about now.

* * *

When Sawyer returned to the tent later, Kate was lying down with Laura on her chest. Upon seeing Sawyer, Kate sat up, watching him warily, wondering how things were between them. Sawyer sat down opposite her, taking the baby, giving nothing away. 

For a few minutes they sat there, watching each other, quickly focusing on the baby whenever they accidentally made eye contact. Neither spoke. Eventually, Sawyer broke the silence.

"Sorry about before." He said gruffly, looking embarrassed. He wasn't comfortable with apologizing. It meant letting his guard down, something he'd avoided for so long.

Kate rolled her eyes. "I bet you are. I know how much you hate it when I start crying."

Sawyer looked at her sharply, hurt by her accusation. "That's not what I meant."

Kate looked at him, her expression softening. "I know."

They smiled at each other. In their own private language, they'd just forgiven each other freely.

Sawyer was determined to have his way in their argument, no matter how much they'd managed to mend things. "I'm still gonna think of another different name for the boy though."

"Okay." When Kate agreed so easily, Sawyer grew suspicious. He wondered why she was giving up now, when she'd felt so strongly about it before.

"What do you know?" he asked.

"Nothing." Kate barely managed to hide a smile as she said this. Of course, Sawyer noticed.

"Desmond said something, didn't he." It was more statement than a question. Kate's only response was to shrug, smiling. Sawyer realised he wasn't going to get anywhere with her. He gave up, deciding to save it for another day.

Kate reached over to stroke Laura's head, lost in her thoughts. "Can you believe how fast she's growing?" she said softly. She sounded completely amazed by the fact.

Remembering one of the points from their fight that morning, Sawyer couldn't help but tease her a little. "Just as well we've got another two coming." Kate rolled her eyes again at this, but her smile denied her true emotions.

"How the hell are we gonna manage?" She could not seem to get past this point. What would they do with three children?

"You heard Desmond, we'll be fine." Sawyer's tone was flippant, yet reassuring. Kate wasn't so sure.

"Desmond said he saw us with them as kids. Can you imagine what it'll be like when they're older? Can you see us with three teenagers?"

From what Kate could tell, Sawyer enjoyed the image. "They're gonna be troublemakers. I bet they'll make us proud." It was impossible to miss the pride in his voice.

"Yeah, I'll have to keep an eye on our son to make sure he doesn't follow in his Daddy's footsteps."

"Whoa, what about the girls? They're gonna be beauties. I'm gonna have a hard time fighting the guys away from them." Kate shook her head and laughed at Sawyer's protective streak shining through again.

"You're gonna have to let them date eventually, James." Sawyer seemed appalled at the thought, to Kate's amusement.

"No way. No guy is ever getting near my little girls." As though she understood what her father was saying, Laura shrieked loudly at that proclamation, causing Kate and Sawyer to burst into laughter.

"If we're still on the island we probably won't have to worry about that anyway." Kate said, still giggling.

"Maybe we won't be on the island." Kate grew silent at Sawyer's suggestion, her smile fading. Sawyer didn't fail to notice this.

"Don't be like that, Freckles. Things'll work out. The five of us will get off this island one day. Oceanic will probably give us a nice big check for our troubles, and we'll use it to buy a big house with every modern convenience known to man."

"And every summer we'll have to put up with the kids demanding to know why we won't take them to the beach on vacation like all their friends." said Kate, getting into the spirit of the conversation again.

"Well, I guess we'll have to make some sacrifices," countered Sawyer.

Kate grew quiet again, clearly uneasy about the topic about the future. "How do you know they won't throw me in prison?"

Sawyer wished more than anything he could answer that the way she wanted. But he didn't see the point in lying. Believing in happy endings for the sake of it wasn't what they did.

"I'm not the psychic here, Freckles. For the sake of arguments, let's just assume they won't, okay?"

Kate smiled. Although the answer wasn't perfect, it was enough for now. "Okay."

Together they lay down on the bed, their daughter nestled in between them. Several minutes later, when Kate was almost asleep, Sawyer spoke again.

"Things are finally looking up for us, Freckles."

Kate smiled in the dark. She believed it.

* * *

_I had a bit of trouble writing this chapter. Was it okay?_


	8. Chapter 8

_I can't believe this took me so long to write. Sorry, if anyone was waiting impatiently for it! Next one shouldn't take as long. Thanks for sticking with me._

_

* * *

__Chapter 8_

Desmond raced down to the waterline, his heart in his throat. He couldn't see anything through the crowd, so he pushed his way past all the bystanders. He needed to see what was happening.

He arrived just in time to see Sawyer emerge from the water, Thomas lying limp in his arms. Desmond had never seen such terror on Sawyer's face as when he lay his lifeless son down on the sand. Desmond was about to move forward to try to help when he saw Molly and Laura. They were alone, Laura crying, terrified. Molly was pale, almost as still as her brother. He moved in their direction, wanting to reassure them.

Just then, Kate arrived on the scene. Her terrified expression matched Sawyer's. She tried to get to her son. Desmond grabbed her, holding her back. Jack was there now, working to revive Thomas. As much as he hated having to do it, he needed to keep Kate out of Jack's way. She fought him hard, crying.

As Desmond struggled to keep a hold of Kate, he saw Sawyer also battling to stay with their son. Jack had pushed him away as soon as he'd arrived, but Sawyer wasn't willing to leave. Hurley was now pulling him away. Sawyer, like Kate, fought against the man restraining him.

Eventually, Kate stopped struggling. She fell to her knees, Desmond still trying to support her. Sawyer noticed. He immediately stopped fighting Hurley, rushing over to Kate and pulling her into his arms. They clung to each other in silent terror, watching, waiting for Thomas breathe again, waiting to be allowed to hold him again.

Desmond went back to the girls. As soon as she saw him, Laura threw herself into his arms. Desmond held her tightly. Molly still wasn't moving. Desmond reached over to try to hold her. She pulled away, her eyes never leaving Thomas.

Desmond stared at Thomas, silently willing him to be all right. He kept thinking, any second now he'd cough, he'd breathe, and Jack would turn and tell everyone he was fine. Minutes passed. Desmond could feel the desperation of the crowd growing as nothing happened. He didn't dare look over at Kate and Sawyer. He couldn't bear to picture their faces. He focused instead on their daughters.

Juliet came over to Desmond. He didn't want to look at her, he had a feeling he knew what she was going to say and he didn't want to hear it.

Leaning close to him, she spoke quietly. "I think you should take the girls away. They don't need to see this."

He didn't want to accept what she was implying. At the same time, he knew she was right. He stood up and took the girls by the hand. Slowly, without looking back, he made to head back up the beach.

Molly refused to move. Desmond knelt down to pick her up. She pulled away from him with a jerk. At that moment, Desmond heard a spluttering sound, followed by a strangled cry from Kate.

Thomas was coughing, finally breathing. Sawyer raced over to him, picked him up and held him close. Kate, in her shock, was slower to move. Her relief seemed so overwhelming she couldn't even stand. Jack noticed, and moved to help her up, all the while reassuring her that Thomas was going to be fine.

On her feet again, Kate rushed down to Sawyer, crying, trying to take Thomas out of his arms. Sawyer wasn't so willing to give him up. Eventually though, he passed Thomas to his mother, who sank down to the sand once more. Still crying, she rocked him back and forth, holding him tightly.

As Desmond watched this scene with relief, Sawyer noticed his daughters standing there for the first time. Desmond thought he looked guilty about what they'd just witnessed. He knelt down and held out his arms. Laura ran straight into them. He looked over at Molly, who still hadn't moved. He held an arm out to her. Desmond took her over to him. Sawyer ignored him. He held his girls, stroking their hair, telling them over and over again that Thomas was okay.

Laura seemed calmed by these reassurances. Molly didn't. She broke free from her father's hold and walked slowly over to her mother and brother. Kate watched her as she reached out and touched Thomas. With that contact, she finally came out of her trance, bursting into tears. Kate pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back soothingly.

"Shh, it's okay baby girl. He's fine, see? He's okay." She kissed Molly's forehead, then rested head against her son's, still lying in her lap. Molly leaned into Kate, holding her brother's hand. All three looked utterly exhausted.

It started to rain. Most of the crowd dispersed, seeking shelter. Desmond stayed, watching the family. None of them moved. He figured they were all still in shock.

Jack and Juliet moved towards them. They'd apparently noticed what Desmond had. After a few words from Jack, Sawyer released his hold on Laura and went over to the rest of his family. He tried to take Thomas from Kate again, meeting resistance from both her and Molly.

Juliet knelt down next to Kate. "Let's go back to your tent. We need to get the kids warmed up." For a moment, Kate didn't move. Then she nodded. She stood up, letting Sawyer take Thomas. Desmond stayed back, watching, as she picked up Molly, settling her on her hip, then putting her free arm around Laura. Like that, they started to walk back to their tent; Jack and Juliet following close behind.

Desmond noticed the doctors exchange a worried look. He decided to follow them. He wanted to help, in whatever way he could.

Before they'd gotten halfway to the tents, Sawyer noticed Desmond.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" he yelled. Desmond was taken aback. He stopped, wondering what he'd done to deserve such an outburst. Jack and Juliet didn't seem to understand either. Sawyer glared at him. Kate didn't even look back. They continued on their way, leaving Desmond behind. Laura turned back to Desmond tearfully, looking scared. He tried to smile at her reassuringly.

He didn't know what was going on.

* * *

Desmond was alone in the jungle. As soon as everyone had left the beach, he'd searched for a secluded spot. He needed time to think. What the hell had just happened? 

Unfortunately, he wasn't as well hidden as he'd hoped. After just a few minutes of being alone, Sawyer came storming up to him. Desmond had never seen him look so threatening. He didn't know why Sawyer would come to him though.

"Why didn't you tell us that was gonna happen?!" Sawyer yelled. He was absolutely livid. Finally, Desmond understood his anger, his reaction on the beach.

"You said you saw Charlie's death, over and over again. And you tried to stop it. So why couldn't you do the same for us?" He was pacing in front of Desmond, reminding him of some kind of dangerous animal about to pounce on its prey. If Desmond hadn't been the prey, he would have found it amusing. But nothing about the situation was funny.

Desmond tried to speak, tried to explain himself. But Sawyer wasn't giving him a chance.

"You said they'd be fine!"

"I thought they would be!" Finally Desmond managed to get a word in. "I didn't know that was gonna happen."

"What do you mean you didn't know?" Sawyer seemed to be waiting for an answer. Desmond didn't know what to say. He struggled noiselessly for a few moments, trying to get the words out, anything to make Sawyer understand.

He was taking too long for Sawyer though. He walked towards Desmond, until he'd backed him against a tree. For a second, Desmond thought Sawyer was actually going to hit him.

Sawyer stared menacingly at Desmond for a moment, before walking away. Desmond sighed with relief, watching him leave. Before he was completely out of sight, Sawyer turned back. Glaring at Desmond, he issued him with a final threat. "Stay the hell away from my family."

Once again, Desmond was left alone, staring in shock, wondering what had just happened.

* * *

Juliet sat watching Kate pace anxiously around the tent. The children were all asleep, cuddled up together for warmth. Jack had left minutes ago to tend to someone with a cut foot. Despite the fact that he'd checked over Thomas thoroughly before leaving and insisted that he would be fine, Kate wasn't convinced. Sawyer had left too; Juliet assumed he was confronting Desmond about whatever his outburst had been about. 

Juliet was worried about Kate. She was still in shock, that much was obvious. Since they'd gotten back to the tent she'd been occupied with comforting her kids, getting them to sleep. Now, she had nothing to do but go over the day's events, over and over again. Juliet could tell she was tortured by it. It wouldn't do her any good to dwell on it, Juliet thought.

"Kate, why don't you sit down for a minute? You need to relax." Kate shook her head, still pacing. She knelt down by her children's' bed for a moment, observing them intently. Juliet then watched as she then stood abruptly.

"I need to take Thomas to Jack. His breathing doesn't sound right and he's still too cold." She said frantically. "But I can't… The girls… Can you…. God, where's James?" She was now shivering madly, Juliet noticed with alarm.

She stood and walked quickly over to Kate. She grasped her shoulders firmly, finally ending the continuous pacing. Kate slowly sank to the ground and Juliet, relieved, picked up a blanket and wrapped it around her. She rubbed her back soothingly, working to calm Kate down a little.

"Sawyer will be back soon. When he gets here, we'll get him to take Thomas to Jack. But you need to stay here, get warmed up and take care of yourself so you can take care of your kids."

Juliet's words had their intended effect. Kate leaned on Juliet, now crying quietly, finally succumbing to the weight of the day's emotions.

Sawyer entered the tent then. When he saw Kate crying he immediately looked over at the kids, panicked. Once he'd reassured himself that they were all still breathing, he moved to Kate's side and pulled her into his arms. Juliet got up to give them some space.

Once Kate's tears had subsided, she pulled away from Sawyer and looked at him questioningly.

"Did you find him? What did he say?" she asked Sawyer. The question intrigued Juliet; many times now she'd seen Kate and Desmond engaging in covert conversations with Desmond, and after today's events she was very curious about them.

"He said he didn't know." Sawyer replied. This answer meant nothing to Juliet. She was further confused by Kate's response.

"How could he not know?"

"That's what he said."

"Do you think he was lying?"

Sawyer only shrugged in response to the last question. He glanced away from Kate. Both noticed Juliet. She hoped she didn't appear to be too interested in their cryptic conversation. To her disappointment, they didn't continue it.

"How's Thomas doing?" Sawyer asked. Both he and Juliet noticed the worry that overtook Kate's expression again at the mention of her son.

"You need to take him to Jack. I still don't think his breathing's right."

Sawyer looked over at his son again, then at Juliet. "Kate's worried." She told him. He nodded, seeming to understand that he needed to do it for Kate's benefit.

"Can't question a mother's intuition, can I? If you think there's something wrong, I'll take him. But you need to try to sleep, okay?" he said to Kate, reaching up to stroke her hair. She nodded, smiling wearily.

Together they stood and walked over to where their children lay. Sawyer carefully lifted up the sleeping Thomas, trying not to wake him or his sisters. He didn't quite succeed.

Molly awoke with a cry at the loss of contact with her brother. Kate quickly moved to quiet her before she woke the others.

"Hey baby, shh. It's okay." Kate sat down, trying to hold the girl in her lap. Molly kept struggling to reach Thomas.

"No! Don't take him!" she cried. Juliet felt her heart breaking at the little girl's pleas. She couldn't imagine what kind of impression the day had left on her. She noticed Kate and Sawyer also looked grief stricken at her reaction.

Sawyer immediately sat opposite Kate, holding Thomas where Molly could see him. She stopped struggling, and let her father wipe the tears from her cheeks. Kate rocked her, stroking her hair while Sawyer talked to her.

"I have to take Thomas to the doctor, Poppet. We'll be back soon, I promise. You go back to sleep and when you wake up he'll be beside you."

Molly was falling asleep again already. She nodded and yawned. Sawyer stood up with Thomas. Before he left, he lifted Kate's chin, looking into her eyes.

"You go to sleep too." He said seriously. Kate rolled her eyes, smiling. She watched Sawyer leave, still rocking Molly in her arms.

Juliet watched as Kate then lay down with Molly. She reached an arm over her younger daughter to brush Laura's hair out of her face. Miraculously, the older girl had slept through the whole conversation.

With the three curled up together, and Kate about to fall asleep, Juliet decided to leave. "Call out if you need anything." She said quietly, so as not to wake the girls.

"Thank you. For being here, I mean." Kate said.

Juliet smiled, and left.

* * *

Following his conversation with Sawyer, Desmond had retreated even further into the jungle. He was now surrounded by stillness. He could hear nothing, he was alone, and he liked it that way. 

He kept going over that conversation, Sawyer's accusations. Trying to answer his questions, if only for himself. What did it all mean?

_What do you mean you didn't know? _Sawyer's voice was in his head, clear as day. The question Desmond wanted to ask himself was, why? Why hadn't he known? Why didn't he see that Thomas was going to drown? He wasn't supposed to be by the water on his own, someone should have been with him. It wasn't supposed to happen. But it did. Why did Desmond see some things, but not others?

_You said you saw Charlie's death, over and over again. And you tried to stop it. _Charlie definitely would've died if Desmond had done nothing. He had to try to stop it. Thomas wasn't going to die. He was going to be fine. Kate and Sawyer didn't know it yet, but Desmond did. He'd seen the kids as adults; he knew they were going to be fine. There was nothing for him to stop.

_Stay the hell away from my family. _The girls had looked so terrified. Desmond was practically a second father to those kids, how could he just leave them? It was the closest he'd ever come to having kids of his own, Sawyer couldn't just take that away from him. But he could. Sawyer had every right, Desmond reminded himself. He was their father after all.

He didn't see the drowning. So he wasn't meant to try to save Thomas. Because despite how it had looked, he wasn't in danger.

His other visions. Desmond paced, trying to figure it out. What if he was wrong about them? What if he was seeing them so he could change them? That first vision he'd had, of the family on the beach, he hadn't changed that. Or had he?

If his vision was right, they were alone that day. No witnesses. So there was no way of knowing if it had actually happened the way he'd seen it. What if he'd changed it and just hadn't realised it? Maybe he could change his other visions too. Maybe they didn't have to die.

But if they don't die, they might never get rescued. Desmond struggled with this thought. Everything could change. Was that fair? The kids, they could miss out on a good life off of the island.

But then again, how good could their lives be without their parents?

The more Desmond thought about it, the more convinced he became. No matter what, the kids would be better off with their parents alive. He'd seen Laura herself say she wanted Kate with her when she had her baby. She wanted more memories. A life on the island with their parents would have to be better than a life without them. After all, he didn't know what happened immediately after rescue. By sacrificing himself for them, he could be condemning them to a horrible fate. He didn't know for sure that they would be with good people.

Desmond didn't want to die. He'd thought he'd accepted it. He'd spent years going over the details, preparing himself. Now, it seemed so wrong. He wanted to live; he wanted to see Penny again. He'd give anything to see her again.

Desmond headed back to the beach. He was going to tell Kate and Sawyer what he saw. He would warn them about the rescue, so that when the time came, the family would hide. They'd either all make it onto the helicopter, or they'd all stay and live on the island for the rest of their lives. They'd be together. Surely that was what they wanted. And Desmond would get on the helicopter, alive, uninjured, and go home to Penny. It was the way it was supposed to be.

There was just the small question of how he'd get close enough to Sawyer to tell him. It would be tricky, but he'd figure it out. Maybe after a day or two Sawyer would be calmer, more ready to listen. Or maybe he could talk to Kate.

Desmond was so caught up in planning his method, he didn't immediately notice the sounds coming from the beach. When he did hear them, he stopped, listening. Horrified, he realised he was hearing screams, gunshots.

He was too late.

* * *

_Review?_


	9. Chapter 9

I know I said I wouldn't take as long to update, so sorry about that. Thanks again for all your reviews! I hope everyone likes the ending.

* * *

_Chapter 9._

Desmond stopped where he was, remembering. All the sounds he was hearing, he'd heard them before. He knew what was happening. He could picture which children were being taken, which adults were being struck down as they tried to help.

He heard Kate, yelling at the girls to run. Calling out for Thomas and Sawyer. It was worse than before, the terror, the anguish. It was actually happening. He couldn't move.

He couldn't hear Kate anymore. He knew what it meant. Her and Sawyer were down. They wouldn't get up again. Their children were in the hands of the Others at that moment. Desmond didn't have to see it to know it was true. He'd seen it before. Once was enough.

He couldn't move. If he moved, he would die. He didn't want to die. He wanted to live, he had to, he had to see Penny again.

If he didn't move, the children would be taken. He didn't think he could live with himself if he did nothing.

He glanced over to a certain spot in the trees. He knew a younger version of himself was standing there, watching helplessly at that very moment. It was an eerie thought. Desmond closed his eyes, remembering the terror he had felt. He remembered Thomas' stare. He knew what he had to do.

Time seemed slower this time around. Watching it before, it was so fast. He wouldn't have had time to think things through.

He edged closer to the tree line. Now he could see what was happening. He almost wished he couldn't. He saw one with the Others with a child, one of the ones he'd seen being snatched so long ago. Back then, he'd thought there was no one to help those poor kids. This time, seeing it all, he realised he was wrong.

Juliet was there. She snuck up behind the Other, attacking him, forcing him to set the child free. She yelled for her to run to the helicopter. The girl didn't hesitate. Realizing what had happened, the Other turned on Juliet. Desmond could hardly bear to watch the brutal fight that then took place between them. Juliet took a few good hits, very painful ones Desmond thought, before she managed to knock the Other out. She paused briefly, wincing in pain, before sprinting after another child.

She didn't seem concerned with getting herself on the helicopter, Desmond thought. He'd spoken to her many times over the years, and he knew she still felt like she wasn't trusted. He knew she hated that feeling. Now, she seemed determined to prove herself, once and for all. Desmond just hoped she didn't get herself killed trying.

He dragged his eyes away from Juliet. Looking around, he finally located Kate and Sawyer's kids. Exactly where he'd seem them before. He ran out of the jungle. He surprised the Others; they obviously hadn't been expecting him. In their shock, it was easy for Desmond to overpower them, despite the fact that he was outnumbered. Their slight delay in reacting to Desmond's attack was just enough for him to free the kids, and get away.

Together with the kids, he ran for the helicopter. As they drew nearer, he saw Jin and Hurley run towards them. Desmond relieved that help was coming back for them, but at the same time he couldn't help think that this was how it had happened before. Nothing had changed. So nothing else would. Jin and Hurley got the two girls on board, both crying for their parents. Desmond tried not to focus on that. He had other things to worry about. He could hear yelling from further down the beach. He knew what was going to happen next.

It was almost as though he could hear it. That one shot, meant for Thomas. He knew it was ridiculous. There were still so many shots being fired, how could he hear one so distinctly? All the same, he knew it was the one. He turned.

He saw the bullet heading for Thomas. Everything was still moving in slow motion. He considered not moving. He wanted to live.

Then he remembered, again, that look, that accusation. He knew he had to do it.

In the end, it barely took a second to decide.

He dived in front of Thomas, not a moment too soon. He felt the burning as the bullet invaded his flesh. Pain quickly followed. He stumbled, and fell to the ground. Through his agony, he saw Thomas' face, full of fear, staring down at him.

Jack appeared behind Thomas. It looked like he was going to try to help Desmond. It couldn't happen. Jack was supposed to take Thomas and go. Desmond tried to make Jack understand. It seemed to work. In an instant, both had disappeared.

Desmond closed his eyes again. He heard the helicopter taking off, leaving him behind, just like he'd known it would.

It was over.

Once the sounds of the helicopter had disappeared, Desmond began to take notice of his surroundings. His first thought was that although he was in excruciating pain, it didn't feel like he was dying. Surely death would feel different. Desmond didn't feel different.

He worked to locate the bullet wound. After a few seconds, he figured out that the pain was radiating from his thigh. It wasn't a fatal wound, but if it was left untreated, Desmond knew he would eventually die. It would take a while. All these years, Desmond had assumed that his death would be quick. It looked like he was wrong about that too.

He gradually became aware that there were still people on the beach. The Others were still there, though many seemed to be disappearing. He saw Kate and Sawyer. This was the first time he'd seen them, this time around. They were lying as still as he remembered. He'd been too late to save them.

Suddenly, Sawyer moved. Desmond watched in shock as he pulled himself up and reached for Kate. Kate's hand slowly moved towards him. They were still alive.

Desmond was relieved. He decided to try to go over to them. He didn't really want to be alone.

Just as he was about to move, he saw Juliet. His heart sank. She hadn't been rescued. He watched helplessly as she was dragged violently along the beach by two of the Others. She was still fighting, struggling to free herself.

A third Other approached them. Desmond noticed he had a gun. Suddenly paralyzed by fear, Desmond could only watch as he raised the gun, pointed it at Juliet's face, and calmly pulled the trigger.

In the new stillness on the beach, the sound was deafening. The Others dropped Juliet to the ground and ran into the jungle.

There was just the four of them left on the beach now. Desmond wanted to go to Juliet, to help her. Then his eyes focused on the massive pool of blood surrounding her. He realised there wasn't anything he could do. He was too late, again.

He started to make his way over to Kate and Sawyer. Maybe there was still something he could do for them. Kate was still lying down on the sand. She hadn't moved. Sawyer was now sitting over her, watching her, holding her hand. He looked over and saw Desmond. Desmond continued painfully crawling over to them. It seemed to take forever. As he drew closer to Juliet's body, he was careful not to look at her. He didn't want to see her the way she was now. He kept his eyes firmly on his destination.

After what felt like a lifetime, Desmond made it. He was relieved to see that Kate was conscious. For now, they were alive.

He observed Kate and Sawyer closely. He knew they would die; all three of them. He wanted to know how. He needed to know what to expect.

Both were incredibly pale. That wasn't much of a symptom though.

"What happened?" He asked them, figuring it was the easiest way to find out. It took a moment for Sawyer to answer.

"They took our kids. Knocked us out so we'd stop fighting, and then the cowards took our kids." Through the anger, Desmond detected a great deal of fear in the man's voice.

He didn't pay much attention to that. He was more concerned that they'd both been hit in the head, hard enough to lose consciousness. He suspected they probably had significant head injuries. They might seem relatively fine now, but he didn't think it would last. He'd seen injuries like this before, in the army. They usually didn't have a good outcome.

Kate's head was still bleeding. She seemed to be the most badly hurt. Gripping Sawyer's hand tightly, she seemed to be having difficulty breathing. Quietly, Desmond asked her where else she was hurt.

"Chest," she gasped. Sawyer smoothed her hair back from her face, looking worried. Desmond slowly lifted her shirt, and saw several ugly bruises already forming. He gently probed her ribs, feeling fairly certain that some were broken. He stopped when Kate cried out in pain. Hating himself for causing her even more agony, he took her other hand. Sawyer looked at him expectantly.

"We probably shouldn't try to move her." Desmond said, answering Sawyer's unasked question. "What about you, any injuries besides the head?" he asked. Sawyer shook his head.

"How bad is that?" Sawyer asked, nodding at Desmond's leg.

"What, that? Just a bullet wound. Hurts like hell, but it's nothing to worry about." He replied, trying to downplay the seriousness of the situation. It didn't work.

"We're not gonna survive this, are we." Said Kate quietly. Desmond looked down at her, and decided to be honest.

"No." he answered. Kate closed her eyes. Sawyer lay down beside her. Neither said anything to Desmond.

He felt guilty. The weight of everything he knew was crushing him now, and he cried, desperate to make things right.

"I knew. I knew it was going to happen. I've known for years. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't want you to know, I wanted you to enjoy your time with your kids. I wanted you to think it would never end. I should have told you." Both Kate and Sawyer had tears streaming down their faces now.

"Are the kids okay?" Kate asked, sounding frantic.

"They're on the helicopter. They'll be fine." Sawyer responded, holding her as close as he could without hurting her, trying to reassure her.

"What's going to happen to them? Who's gonna take care of them?" she asked Desmond.

"I don't know," he replied, wishing he could tell her differently.

They fell silent again, not moving from their positions, staying as close to each other as possible.

Desmond lost track of time. He stared at the ocean, not really seeing it. His vision started to blur, until he wasn't sure what he was seeing anymore. There was a rushing sound in his ears. He thought he was dying.

He saw Penny. If this was death, he liked it.

He stared at Penny. Happiness overtook him. He'd gotten his wish, he was seeing her again.

She was with her father, in some kind of office. It was all very serious. Penny looked exhausted.

"They're back." Charles said. Desmond listened eagerly.

"All of them?" asked Penny.

"No, some of them died. We're still checking names, finding out exactly what happened. From what we've heard, there was some kind of battle during the rescue operation. Some people were left behind." I was left behind, thought Desmond. It felt surreal, hearing himself talked about like that.

"Desmond?" Penny asked hopefully. Desmond smiled at hearing her voice say his name. It was just how he remembered it.

"He was definitely there. We're not sure how yet. He wasn't on the plane."

"But he didn't come back." Penny said flatly, as though all her hopes had been dashed.

Her father shook his head. "It sounds like he was one of the ones who was left behind." Desmond had never known this man to speak about him this way. As though he acknowledged that Penny cared about him, and that it would hurt her to hear this news. He'd never known Charles to have a heart.

"How do you know?" Penny asked, as though determined to find something to hope for.

"There were a few witnesses. Those children, apparently he helped them." Charles replied, motioning over to who Desmond assumed to be Laura, Molly and Thomas, though he couldn't see them.

Penny looked over at the children, lost in her thoughts.

"You need to take care of them. Our company is arranging the adoption details." Charles said, as though this was an ordinary bit of information. Penny looked shocked.

"What?!"

"We can't let the public know about this. They have to stay within the company." Charles explained.

Penny shook her head, looking like she couldn't comprehend what she was being told. "What about the other survivors? Couldn't they do it? I don't even know them. After all they've been through, shouldn't they be with people they know and trust?"

"We've arranged a community for the survivors to live in. Everyone will be together, you'll live there too, and the children will still see everyone. But the adults have all been through significant traumas. None are capable of taking on the responsibility of three young children. They need a stable adult in their lives." Charles spoke reassuringly.

"Their parents are dead?" Penny asked, still in shock.

"Yes."

Desmond closed his eyes briefly. It was so much to take in.

They were silent for a moment, Penny looking overwhelmed. Charles grasped her shoulders, forcing her to meet his eyes.

"Take care of the children, Penny. Forget everything else."

Penny nodded, tears in her eyes. She turned and went out into the hall to meet the kids. Desmond followed, desperate not to lose sight of her. He knew he had limited time with her. He wanted to make the most of it.

The children were sitting side by side on a bench, looking scared. Desmond was relieved to see none were hurt. As Penny approached them, looking apprehensive, they huddled together.

Penny smiled at them, looking very formal, not at all like herself, Desmond thought.

"Hello. I'm Penny." She held out her hand. The kids just looked at it, then back at each other. Penny started to pull her hand away, looking disappointed, when Laura finally reached out and shook it.

"I'm Laura. That's Molly, and Thomas." She said politely, motioning to her brother and sister as she introduced them. Desmond smiled sadly. He remembered Kate teaching her how to make introductions. It was like a game to them. He hoped Laura would hold onto the memory.

Penny relaxed a little. The first hurdle was over.

"Do you know Desmond?" Molly asked innocently.

Penny looked shocked at the question. "Yes." She replied, staring at the girl.

"He talks about you a lot He says you're the love of his life." Molly said dreamily. At the tender age of five, this notion seemed very romantic to her, even though she probably didn't understand what it meant.

Penny knelt down, more herself now. "Did you know Desmond well?" she asked.

Laura answered, looking (in Desmond's opinion) like she was annoyed that her younger sister was getting all the attention. "He takes care of us when Mom and Dad are busy. Are they gonna be here soon?"

"Your parents?"

"And Desmond."

Desmond could see Penny didn't know what to say. "I don't think so, sweetheart."

The kids started to look scared again. Desmond wished he could comfort them.

"Who's gonna take care of us?" Thomas asked, speaking up for the first time.

"I am." Penny replied, sounding resolved. "You're going to live with me now."

"Are our parents dead?" Laura asked quietly, shocking Desmond by how much she looked, and sounded, like her mother in that moment.

Penny was now facing a similar decision to what Desmond had faced. Like him, she decided to tell the truth, however painful it was. "Yes."

The kids were all crying now. Desmond turned away from them, focusing on Penny. It was his fault, he reminded himself. It was his fault they were feeling this grief.

"It's going to be okay." Penny said firmly, reaching up to wipe each of their tears away. "They love you. That'll never change. I'm sure wherever they are now, they know you're safe. And that makes them happy."

The children seemed slightly reassured by this thought. Penny started to get them up, to take them away. Desmond felt frantic. He'd never see them, any of them, again. It was a terrifying thought, made only slightly better by the fact that the four people he cared most about in the world would be together. The kids would be with Penny. They'd be safe. He was so relieved.

"Will you tell us stories about Desmond sometimes?" Laura asked hopefully.

"Would you like that?" Penny asked. All three nodded eagerly. "Then I'll tell you all the stories I know. And maybe you could tell me about him too."

Laura smiled through her tears. Then she disappeared.

Desmond opened his eyes. He looked down at Kate. "They're with Penny. Penny's gonna look after them. They're all okay."

"Your girlfriend Penny?" asked Sawyer.

"Yes. I saw Penny…" Desmond trailed off, still in tears.

"They'll be safe with her?" Kate asked, coughing. Sawyer tightened his grip on her hand. Desmond did the same.

"They'll be fine." He reassured her. Once her violent coughing fit had subsided, the three grew quiet again. Desmond couldn't stand it. He decided to tell them everything he knew. They had nothing left to lose.

"I saw them years ago. I had another vision. They were adults. They come back here, every year, to visit our… graves." A shudder passed through the group at that word. Desmond continued.

"Molly, she's a livewire, that girl. Very outgoing, probably gets up to a lot of mischief. The other two are a bit quieter. She's beautiful; both girls are. Laura looks just like you, Kate. I thought she was you when I first saw her. Thomas is very handsome. He seems very caring. I think he's very protective of his sisters.

"The twins were looking for a waterfall. They said you had a secret waterfall, and they were trying to find it. I had no idea what that was about."

"We always promised we'd show it to them. We never did. We always thought we'd have more time." Sawyer said regretfully.

"If their determination is anything to go by, they'll find it one day, don't you worry." Desmond said firmly. He continued.

"The twins are at college. Jack's making them go, but Laura says they skip classes all the time."

Kate chuckled. "Good for them."

Desmond smiled. "Laura talked to your graves a lot, once the twins were gone. She told you she got married. She said you'd like him, Sawyer."

It was Sawyer's turn to laugh now, though he looked heartbroken at the thought that his little girl had gotten married and he hadn't been there to walk her down the aisle.

"She's having a baby. She said she doesn't know how she'd gonna do it. She said she doesn't know how to be a mother."

Kate shook her head. "She'll be fine. I didn't know what I was doing either. She'll be a great mom. God, we're going to be grandparents. How crazy does that sound?" she laughed through her tears, and started coughing again. Sawyer pulled her closer, too emotional to speak.

"She said she's gonna name it after one of you. She said you're good people, and you deserve to be honored, and that this is the only way she knows how to do it."

Neither Kate nor Sawyer spoke at that. Desmond watched as they cried together, grieving for all the years, all the moments, they'd never have.

"They're happy, and they're safe. They're going to be fine."

Kate and Sawyer were relieved at hearing this. They relaxed into each other, weary. Kate looked up at Desmond. They smiled at each other. Sawyer looked up at him too.

"Thank you. I'm sorry for the way I acted before. Thanks for helping the kids." Desmond had never heard such sincerity from him before. He nodded at him. There was nothing left to say.

It was silent again. Kate and Sawyer were still, and quiet. Desmond didn't think anything of it, until he felt Kate's hold on his hand lessen. He looked down at the two, knowing what he was going to see. They were curled up together, foreheads touching. Both had small smiles playing on their lips. Neither was breathing.

They were gone.

Desmond lay back on the sand. He had no energy left. He couldn't even cry for them. He was alone now. He closed his eyes, and thought of Penny.

He saw her face, and pictured her new life. A new beginning for the woman he loved, and for the three children he cared more about than any other in the world. It felt right.

He wasn't aware of how much time was passing. When he opened his eyes again, daylight was brewing. He watched the sun rise. It was a beautiful morning.

He closed his eyes again. After a few moments, he sensed someone standing over him. He opened his eyes, and saw Rousseau looking down at him with an expressionless face. Inexplicable, Desmond felt fear.

"Help... help me." He tried to beg, but he hardly any voice. Rousseau raised a gun, pointed it straight at his face.

Eyes wide open, Desmond searched her face for some kind of emotion. Regret. Sympathy.

He saw a bright flash, heard a loud shot. He felt nothing.

_The End._

* * *

So, that's the end! I know everyone wanted Desmond to save Kate and Sawyer, but they were dead from the moment I dreamt this story. I considered changing it, but it didn't feel right after all the build up. Consider leaving one last review? 


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